Friday, July 1, 2011

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Currently only in my dreams

My beach. Wishing that was me....

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Honesty =Freedom

There's this scene in the pilot where Ally and Georgia admit that they dont like each other. In person. Man I want my life to be filled with the level of unabashed honesty that is represented in television. It seems like a level of freedom that I have yet to experience...

Monday, April 25, 2011


Still struggling with my fears but now I feel like I have someone holding my hand as i walk!

Not run.

I'm starting to really understand what love and marriage is all about

I'm asking myself

"How did I get so lucky?!" all over again!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Literally dreaming of another life.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Today feels like the summer

and then there's that perhaps nothing will ever change.....

Scary thought.

Fear is a powerful thing and I'm trying not to let it rule my life.

But it keeps coming back to haunt me...

Saturday, April 9, 2011

About ME

I moved to Los Angeles 12 now almost 13 years ago when I was twenty.

Since then I've gone to university, A-list parties, jail for the night and everything in between.

I have to say it has been a blast and what a good growing up experience is all about.

I started this blog in the November of 2009 to cronical what I thought was going to be an epic travel adventure as I left Los Angeles behind. For good!

Sadly and yet not. I'm now staying in the place I was trying to leave. physically, and only physically.

This is all about the new ME. Not me some where new....

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want & need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, & not what others believe.

Barbara De Angelis

*reposted from Kind Over Matter

Monday, February 28, 2011

Kind over matter

As we sail thru life, don't avoid rough waters, sail on because calm waters won't make a skillful sailor.

Mang Kepweng

Re posted from Kind over matter

Friday, February 25, 2011


Ok so I might be getting confused...or cold feet... or just depressed
but what ever the reasons for why I feel like this I'm questioning my impending marriage.

I believe difficult decisions are not made without the proper research and so I started mine a couple months ago...

I read "committed" By Elizabeth Gilbert, I've done a mental inventory of values and I enrolled in a Buddhism class to get back to a clear thinking head space. I have yet to surf in the last 2 months and see a relationship councilor but don't worry there still on the to do list...

Continuing with my research today I Googled. I'm a big fan of Googleing.

this is what I asked the internet;

"what makes two people compatible enough for marriage"

and in this is what i found...

" can you make each other happy and yet remain true to yourselves? If one of you feels that they have constantly give up things that are important to them in order to maintain a relationship - this signifies incompatibility."

and then there was this...which actually made me laugh out loud.

"I'm in the same boat, I don't know if I should be marrying this man, I have found him to be selfish. So I think a year or two at the most before I've had it with his ***. Really I thinks its best to have a few things more than just great sex in a marriage for it to last."

the internet is echoing the voices in my head...Not quite the affirmation I was looking for :(

I may have to ban myself from the computer for a while lol

Monday, February 21, 2011

Sunday, February 6, 2011

so many...

things I want and one is to be the most important person in someones the past that has, by default, had to be my own. And i've been happy with that!
Is this about trust ...
or fear?!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Not a bad reminder about attachment

“Plant an expectation; reap a disappointment.”

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

When you read things that upset you remember this...

By this merit may all attain omniscience.

May it defeat the enemy, wrongdoing.

From the stormy waves of birth, old age, sickness and death,

From the ocean of samsara, may I free all beings.

By the confidence of the golden sun of the great east,

May the lotus garden of the Rigden’s wisdom bloom.

May the dark ignorance of sentient beings be dispelled.

May all beings enjoy profound brilliant glory.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Ok I'm Ready

to just be excited about getting married!!!

I think I've made peace with my fear....
We'll at least I've stopped looking for reasons not to do this!
Most of the time ;)

Monday, January 10, 2011